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Heal Yourself Now
Hello!
My speciality is working with adults who have tried everything else from pills to decades of therapy and still feel hurt by the past, are confused about who they are or what they want, are plagued by not being or doing enough or are flat, disengaged and alone.
I also work with self-identified people-pleasers, overwhelmed empaths and intuitives and people with chronic pain or autoimmune disorders.
There is more overlap than you’d expect between these groups, and I have synthesized a gentle process that can support them all. I created this process as I healed myself and have used it with thousands of clients, so I have really sifted out the most effective best practices to help you heal.
Check out the ACES report by Kaiser Permanente and CDC, Basically it shows that stress and trauma make us ill.
Most people who are suffering from the effects of childhood trauma, narcissistic or borderline abuse, or simply being in relationships with hurtful people only recover when they realize at a whole new level that the relationship pain IS creating or exacerbating the other problems in their lives and is blocking the solution. Worse yet, it ruins your relationship with yourself.
And if you were trained that you are the problem and to make it look good on the outside, like I was, then you’ll continue to construct a life that doesn’t help or support you. But it sure ‘looks right” and helps other people. It’s exhausting and unsatisfying. Read another article to see if you have complex trauma.
One of the main barriers in the healing process is the idea that the trauma or abuse was “not that bad.” We are brainwashed when our trauma was well hidden and blamed on us. The most skilled abusers convince their victims that we are the problem. Then we, as victims, have a hard time thinking of ourselves as victims. Like a fish doesn’t get that it is in water: it just is. I thought my childhood was normal and I thought my childhood was nurturing. Especially because some people have it worse.
Here’s the thing, comparing stories happens way after the incidents do, as well as in a different part of your brain. So it really isn’t true and certainly doesn’t help you heal. Experience is subjective, so a less sensitive person may survive outright neglect with less psychological pain than a highly sensitive person with good parents that just couldn’t go deep enough. The needs in both cases are not met – and that is the problem.
Like me, most of my clients don’t realized the how much their trauma or sensitivity has impacted their life experience. It’s a sleight of hand con job that keeps us ungrounded and internally split. We tend to think of our problems as external, or that we are the source of ALL the problems in everyone’s life. So we are always looking in the wrong place for the wrong solution. And we don’t think of ourselves as trauma survivors, because like the fish, it’s just how it is.
For most of my life I looked put together on the outside and simultaneously felt hollow and chaotic on the inside. I appeared articulate and confident with other people while I was insecure and pretty darn disengaged from my own experience. My body paid the price – autoimmune and other health problems go in this territory. My family suffered, I did the best I could but sometimes I was just unavailable or irritable. I always got up and tried again.
There is hope. Really.
Like I said above, I have suffered from the effects childhood trauma. I started seeing an herbalist when I was 15 for adrenal fatigue (she was my first mentor – thank you Catherine!) And I had to undergo testing for an ulcer at 16. My first car wreck was when I was 17. Yep, these are actually signs of trauma. How did my symptoms show in my 20’s, 30’s & 40’s?
A body that hurt 24-7. Feeling like something was missing or there should be more. Days and weeks lost to autoimmune flair-ups. Breast Cancer. Being harsh with my kid when I know I didn’t want to and couldn’t stop. Feeling like a fraud and failure, regardless of accomplishments. Like when I won the outstanding student award at my at my graduate hooding ceremony, I worried – while on stage getting the award – that my previous advisor was mad at me for changing advisors. WTF?
I had decades of deep periods of inconsolable grief and an aching body and flooding peaks of pressure about “doing it right” or “catching up” with my self imposed list – all to make up for my internal lack of self. I felt like I couldn’t even manage my life – I was in chronic overwhelm. All of this was still happening after I earned my MA and had created a thriving private practice! All my knowledge and skills couldn’t fix me.
Please, if this sounds like you, don’t wait another day. If you can’t do sessions with me, at least check out the free materials and get some purchase on having a solid, satisfying life. You deserve it and it is better than you can believe.
Do you ever ask yourself if there is more to life than the stress of balancing external appearances and internal distresses? Or if you will ever get better – or even just have some relief. I asked that question and actively worked for 30 years before I found the key. All that work was important, because I learned what I needed along the way. It was time well spent.
I had all the information right out in front of me – and so do you – but I had to be willing to let go of the old to find the new. Sounds like a bumper sticker, right? Well, it’s true. You have more power than you may believe to change your belief structures, shift your energy and moods and feel satisfied with life and the choices you make.
Those of us who have practiced energy work or energy psychology have known for centuries that we put off energy, we pick up energy and we can use energy to hurt or heal. I am just tickled pink that now neuroscience is showing us why our energy techniques work – for example, all we know now about the ancient spiritual practice of breathing has made it mainstream (😀.)
In order to heal, you may have to adjust your lens. Maybe get more spiritual. Or more researched based. Because balance and changing your point of view is where you’re gonna learn to live if you want to heal.
Bottom Line
People who had abusive or neglectful childhoods have trauma. You can nurture your true essence and love yourself.
People who are highly sensitive or intuitive experience trauma just by being on the planet. You can find shelter and management skills.
People who have chronic pain – no matter the source – and/or autoimmune issues are consumed by hurt all the time. You can find relief and rest.
Let’s Connect
I am a dually licensed psychotherapist with expertise and experience in human development, systems therapy, trauma recovery, anxiety, depression, personality disorders, spirituality and relationships. I also work with and mentor other healing professionals. I use a researched based combination of best practices from energy psychology, neuroscience, human development and traditional talk therapy to help adults and couples.
Clients who get the most out of working with me usually know that their hurt has been since childhood, there may have been abuse or neglect. Or they identify as psychics or empaths that feel overwhelmed, tired or chaotic a lot of the time. Sometimes they have chronic pain autoimmune disorders and are over givers. Or they are like me, people who have life put together but don’t feel like they’re really happy or living.
If you want to connect, I teach classes, have online products and services, run several mastermind groups and accept private clients. So, there are lots of ways we can do that.
If you’re local or in the Portland, Oregon area check out Breathe Healing Arts Center. If you want to connect online, you can get info on this site. I am also on facebook and instagram.
If you are interested in mentoring, counseling or one of my programs, please schedule here or fill out the contact form on this page and I’ll get in touch. You can also text me at (503) 308-8099.
If you want to meet with me for therapy, I can meet online, by phone or in person. Please understand that therapy is intended for medical conditions and state law requires that we both be present in Oregon at the time of services.
We get right to work
I just had my first session with Tabatha, and she was amazing! She knew immediately what I needed to break through my energetic blocks. Even though it was our first time meeting, it was as if she knew me for my entire life. I cannot wait to continue my healing work with her. She is really fantastic.
Candace Whitman, WildMoonCounseling.com