Better Than Romance
by Tabatha Bird Weaver, MA
There is something amazing that happens when you connect deeply. The world is different somehow and you are better for it. The colors of nature are more vivid. Problems don’t seem so big. The future is more hopeful. you feel like you are not alone.
Relationships come in various packages – family, friends, colleagues, romance. They can be fulfilling, torturous or anywhere in between. As you know, relationships can be vastly different depending on circumstance. However, the one thing that is constant in all your relationships is YOU. On one hand, this is an amazing realization: you have power and influence in all your relationships. You can even choose whether there is a relationship. On the other hand, if you take this realization to heart you recognize that you are ultimately responsible for the condition of your relationships. It is up to you to make your relationship what you want it to be.
When we neglect our relationships, they can sour or fade. Nurturing, deep listening, honesty and action are cornerstones to a solid, satisfying relationships. These qualities can transform and elevate a relationship beyond your expectations. But how do you learn to do that? And consider this: are you in a good relationship with yourself? Are you caring about your needs and wants? And are you honest with yourself about what you need to change?
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to
seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~ Rumi
Brent and I founded and created a program and support system to help other couples. We discovered that the work and dedication we put into our life together created a relationship that was deeper, more meaningful and more passionate than ever before. It was better than shallow romance – it was fulfilling.
We created this program because we didn’t want other couples to suffer a long or work as hard as we did. I remember the day when all these ideas became real to me – it was that kind of out of body experience where you can see things clearly. I married a good man. Our first several years together were filled with a lot of happy times and also some stress. Sometimes we argued. Eventually, our arguments were going around in circles: same old crud with no resolution. Outside of our disagreements we had a good life and were connected. But the disagreements were painful and eventually left us feeling hopeless about improvement.
I stopped in my tracks when I thought, “I could still be a relationship expert if we can’t do this.”
That thought was not okay with me: I wanted to be with my husband. I realized that he was having a similar experience during our disagreements: no resolution and points of deep pain. So, I decided to listen to him, own up to where I was adding to the problem and change some things. I also decided to be honest with him about things I was afraid to bring up. Happily, he heard me and decided to shift some things too. Our relationship is better than ever – and better than we thought it could be!
These experiences are not unusual – I hear these things from clients every day. If you have suffered with relationship pain, chances are you are sick of it or exhausted from the efforts to fix it. Many of my individual and couples clients tell me that they have struggled with the pain of unfulfilled needs and relationships for years – even decades. Some say they lost hope that they would find connection or they began to believe it was not even possible to have a satisfying relationship. Other says they always choose the “wrong type” or leave relationships at the first sign of trouble. Sound familiar? Couples also have a great relationship, but they know they want more, or could do better. They are looking to make a fine relationship fantastic. I reply, “Yes, please.”
Through years of clinical experience, consuming hundreds of conferences, workshops, books and articles and my own life experience I have figured out a clear path so that you don’t have to struggle like we did. With a few changes you can move from pain or dissatisfaction to a satisfying, deep, real relationship. Kick it up a notch and ignite your passion!
“To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.” ~ Lao Tzu
Discover how to respect yourself and your partner so you both get what you need and want. Experience a deeper connection and more passion – then watch the spill over into your entire life. I want to help you learn the tools and skills to solve problems and enrich your relationship. When you release old hurts and feel valued you can stop keeping score and move forward together as partners. Begin to feel really understood, valued and deeply connected so you can enjoy your lives together. Better yet, create a sexy relationship full of spice that leave you wanting more. You can feel secure and satisfied with your partner – find the freedom of well placed trust that brings joy.